Tell me, is it a sin to be glad people are no longer in this world? Those who have taken things from your very soul? I'd really like to know. I found myself happy that someone was dying in a hospital today. I have never felt like that before today.
When I was three a certain man tried to rape me. He held me down and tried to force himself into my small body. I cried kicked, screamed and even bit him to get away. Sweaty and partially naked I broke free and drug my baby sister to my bed room where I slammed the door, and locked it. I stood in front of that door sobbing, until my mother and father came home from a date.
As soon as they came home my uncle snuck out the door. I heard my mother coming down the hall. She came to the locked door, and tried to open it."
"Kathy, it's Momma let me in."
Reluctantly, I unlocked the door. I remember her scooping me up. I sobbed and sobbed. My long blond hair was so matted and wet from sweat, snot and tears. I felt so dirty and sore. I remember clinging to my mother and wishing she'd just hold me all night, but please clean me up too. That night still makes me cry.
My mother did clean me up. I fell asleep, as she cried and rocked me. I remember my Dad storming out of the house. He found my uncle and put him on a bus back to Ala. The next day my mother took me to the doctor.
Latter, those same scars would surface in my marriage. Every time Mark would do certain things when we were on the couch, or in bed, I'd grow horribly rigid and start crying. Sure I've had counseling. Mark has paid for lots of counseling, but the scars remain. I've learned to live and cope with it. The scars remain, but most people don't see them.
That same uncle, and I sat at my Grandmothers table one night. He asked me, "Do you really remember what happened? You were only three," he said with a smirky smile.
I went through all the details of how he coaxed me up on the couch under a wool, green army blanket. As I described the way he held me down and pulled my pajama's down, the smirk left his face. His eyes grew teary, as the tears rolled down my cheeks. I described the pain in my wrists as he pinched them down, and the force he used on my three year old parts. He apologized and told me he was sorry that I remembered. (Isn't that amazing, he was sorry I remembered;- he wasn't sorry for the act? )
I forgave him, but the sad thing about this is, he continued to abuse children. If it could have ended with me, it would have been so much better, but he continued even after I told him explicit details-WHY?
Today he lies in a hospital with internal head injuries. I wonder if the demons from hell aren't teasing and tormenting him, as they wait to carry him to an eternal damnation. As he enters hell will the flames fan higher as they consume his damned body?
That man's death will deliver justice to every child's body, mind and soul he damaged. God's Justice comes in His time, not ours. God makes no mistakes.
"And I heard the altar respond: Yes, Lord God Almighty, true and just are your judgements." Revelation 16:7 (NIV)
"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self indulgence. Blind Pharisees! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean." Matthew 23:25 &26 (NIV)
"And he said: I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.
Therefore, whoever humbles himself as a little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believes in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea."
Matthew 18:3-6 (NIV)
God sees and knows everything. His timing will be just. Please do not abuse or mislead a child, your penalties will be worse.
