Being a Mother is one of God's Best Blessings!

 Yesterday, I spent the day with my oldest son, Michael. He has been an absolute treasure every since he was first born! Yesterday was his thirty-second birthday. You know I can still remember  the day he was born.

Michael arrived a little bit latter than we expected and was welcomed into this world after midnight on September 14th, 1982. I remember asking God to make him big enough that I wouldn't be afraid to bathe him or carry him and the Lord sure did. He came out weighing 8 pounds and 14 ounces and he was 21 inches long. That's pretty big for a first baby!

The Dr. cut his cord and handed him all slippery and wet to his father. Mark immediately crashed through the delivery doors to the waiting room holding Michael like a prized football. "I have a son!" He proclaimed to our parents and anyone else out there waiting on new arrivals.

Looking back, those 32 years truly have flown by with so many wonderful memories. Actually the fond memories flood my soul even longer. I still recall the first time I felt him kick and move around in my womb. Michael seemed to love it when I swam in the cool water of Pearl Lake the summer before he was born. I still giggle thinking about how his little hands and feet flinched as I swam. He really loved riding the motorcycle too. He tumbled and bounced every time Mark started the motorcycle motor. First, he'd kick and then settle right down as I pushed my belly into the small of Mark's back. I just giggled because both my boys seemed happy.

Last Christmas, Michael brought his own motorcycle down from S.C. He wanted to take me for a ride. You can't imagine the joy I felt as he went through the gears and I held on to him. We both laughed as he went through the gears and then he cat walked it for a few minutes. That same little baby inside of me grew into this glorious wonderful man. God let me be a part of that!

When Michael was born he had a congenital cataract. The doctors told us he also had a tumor on his optic nerve when he was only 16 months old. There was a potential that the tumor could quickly move to his brain and kill Michael. This made me cry a lot when he was little.

One day he saw me crying as I was washing dishes. "Mommy, why are you crying? Are you crying about my eye again?"

"Yes, Mikey, I am."

"Mommy, please don't cry. Jesus loves me very much and even if I die He'll take me to live with Him."

How do the wisest words flow from a babes mouth? I just picked him and his little sister Heidi up. I held them close and prayed that God in His infinite wisdom would use them how ever He chose. Both of our children came from God. They really weren't mine. They both came to teach me volumes that all the books in the world couldn't teach me-only life itself could.

When Michael was almost 12 he had a horrible headache. It was around Christmas time. He screamed nonstop, we rushed him to Butterworth Hospital in Grand Rapids Michigan. I was sure God was about to take him from us.  An MRI of his optic nerve and brain revealed that the tumor was miraculously GONE. Our Christmas gift from God that year was the removal of that tumor!

I didn't believe the doctors. I had to see the films for myself; it really was gone. The doctors couldn't explain it but they did say it was a miracle. They gave Michael something for the pain and we took him home.

That little baby boy and his little sister Heidi have taught me volumes about God's Love, Mercy, Grace and His infinite Care for each one of us. If God has blessed you through parenthood never take it lightly. It's one of God's greatest Blessings and Lessons.

We went with Michael to a car race at "The Heavenly Airstrip," in Clayton GA. yesterday. I Loved hearing him laugh as "street cars" raced each other in a 1/4 mile strip. After that, we all went to a mountain cabin rental they have this week. He said it was one of the best birthdays he'd ever had.  :)  I smiled, prayed and cried a lot as we drove home last night. My wonderful son is such an awesome, smart and best of all a Godly man! The treasures we find in family far out weigh any earthly possession. God is so wonderful!

"I will Bless those who Bless you.
And I will Curse those who Curses you;
And in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed."  Genesis 12:3 (NKJV)

Holidays create a mixed Bag of Emotions

(This is my Grandma Rose & Grandpa Mac)

  Would you agree that holidays can make you feel happy, sad, frustrated, hurt, loved and sometimes confused?  The older I grow,  my holiday emotions seem more mixed. Do you remember the holidays of your youth? Mine were fun and very lively. Soon I would be feasting on one of my grandmothers endless supply of delicious foods.  Of course, I'd be kissing lots of family,  playing baseball, kickball or house with my favorite cousins.

   After marriage holiday life grew complicated. First we tried to make sure both sides feel "loved"by dividing all the holiday time equally.  Time with Mark was shoved to the side or didn't exist which almost always ended in marital conflict.

 Before we knew it there are babies to carry to these gatherings. I can still remember Michael's red face grunting just in time for one of the grandparents to pick him up. "Good grief! Kathy, he needs his pants changed!"

 Or Heidi smiling in her Sunday best just before spitting up milk all over her pretty little dress. I still wonder if our parents thought I was a good momma or not? As hard as I tried there were messes and mistakes.

  Shortly, after we adjusted to all that, our kids were playing with their cousins. That was a lot of fun watching them together. Life was great again. But before we knew it, people on both sides began passing away. The absence of each of their lives lingers today. Honestly, I cry as much as I'm happy during the holidays.

 There's a hole in my heart that can only be filled by certain friends that I can't see or be with. The memories of loved ones that have passed makes me glad that most of them are home in heaven. A few never did accept Jesus as their savior. That makes me cry as I wonder did I live my life well enough  to show them the difference Jesus could make in their life?

  Now the kids come to our house but there aren't any grandchildren. Will we ever enjoy grandchildren? Still we treasure the time we share with our kids and their spouses. I thank God more for each of them more every year.

  There is so much to be thankful for. First, for our awesome God who lovingly provides for more than just our needs. Second, family and friends. Don't forget all the memories and the memories to come.

  I was going through my old treasured cookbook, it's treasured because there are recipes from my Grandma Mason, Grandma Rose and my mother in law. They're all in heaven now. But there are also recipes from my mom, girlfriends as well as Michael and Heidi. As I closed it after making cookies tonight, I realized that one book ties so many of the people I love together.

  Consider all the people in your life, the good, bad and the ugly. How is God using people in your life to help you grow in grace, love and even mold your character? Carefully he places a different combination of people in our lives for His purpose. We have an awesome God who loves us more than any of our family or friends.

Please sit down and read John chapter 15. It's full of a lot to ponder on while you busily prepare for the feast.

Happy Thanksgiving!

"This is my commandment, that you love one another just as I have loved you." John 15:12 (NASB)

What is your Ego like?

Mr. Webster defines "ego" as the conscious part of the personality component that is conscious, most immediately controls behavior and is most in touch with external reality. Maybe an easier way to describe it is the part of your mind that decides how you will act and react to the events, people and God in your life.

Basically there are at least two types of  EGO, they are the ones that:


Edge                                                    Exalt

God                        Or They                God
                                    
Out                                                      Over Everything!

Your freewill, a gift from God, gives you the choice to do either. But guess which way will make you truly happier...you guessed it. You and I were created in God's image to glorify Him.

"Then God said, "Let Us make man in Our image, according to our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the catle and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth."    Genesis1:26 (NASB)

(There are two things I would like to point out in this passage, first, when God the Heavenly Father was talking He was speaking to Jesus the Son of God and the Holy Spirit. These Three are known as the "Holy Trinity." Second mankind was made in God's image. We are not all our own little gods.


"Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."                                   Corinthians 10:31 (NASB)

"If you will return, O Israel, declares the Lord, "Then you should return to Me. And if you will put away your detested things from my presence, And will not waver, And you will swear, ' As the Lord lives,' In truth and justice and in righteousness; Then the nations will bless themselves in Him, And in Him they will glory."                                             Jeremiah 4:1 and 2 (NASB)


Another great passage that descibes the heart of a Godly person is Psalm 145. As we do the things God seeks in us He abundantly blesses our life not always with health or wealth but in the eternal blessings of the soul which far out weigh the temporary life we live today.

"And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."     Micah 6:8

 Should you choose to edge God out of your life, God will deny you a place in heaven with Him.

"Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them, may be compared to a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rains fell and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock.

Everyone who hears these words of Mine and does not act on them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. The rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed that house; and it fell- and great was its fall."
                                                               Matthew 7:24-27 (NASB)

Jesus said it, I believe it and hope you do too.

Coping with Extreme illness

  I remember the day the doctors told us my Grandma Mason had liver cancer. I thought my world would crumble.  She had been the best grandma I could have ever had. Who would listen to my ideas, console my hurts and laugh with me when she was gone?

  Three weeks latter our family was saying good bye to her and burying her body. That was over 31 years ago now but there are days I still miss her. Grandma Mason was a rock in my life.

  In August of 2003 a doctor told me that I would be dead within 30 days. A colonoscopy revealed Crohn's Disease in its final stage. I was bleeding to death. My daughter Heidi couldn't accept this diagnosis. She called several gastrointestinal doctors in Atlanta who said they probably couldn't help me. Finally, Dr. Binderow told her that he would see me. He read the reports and examed me. He didn't give much hope, he said there was less than a 50% chance I would live through a surgery to help stop the bleeding.

  I agreed to let them try to help me. I lived through twenty-seven more surgeries by 2007. The last surgery was so horrible. After two days on a ventilator, I woke up with tubes running out of every part of my body. Ten tubes were draining blood and fluids.  There were IVs in my neck putting fluids and medications back into my body. Who can forget the nasty N.G. tube sucking blood and bile out of my stomach?

  I looked down at the incision which was from my breast bone down to the pelvic bone. Part of the incision was stapled shut and part of it was left partially open so it could drain. I looked in the mirror, my hair was mated and filthy. If it killed me I was going to wash my hair. (By golly, it almost did kill me before a nurse came in and helped me.)

  She was kind enough to help brush the tangles out. Having clean hair helped my attitude a lot. Prior to this I had cried and asked God why he had let me live through all this. That was a really bad day. What do you do to get through horrible days?

  After the shampoo and a sponge bath I was hurting worse than I've ever hurt. The pain from having mesh filleted off my stomach muscles, hernia repairs and having my one and only bowel restructured was so bad I was sure I'd die. I remember calling out to God,  "Please just hold me and take away the pain."

  Not long after that, I slipped into a really deep sleep. Have you ever cried out begging God the Father to hold you? It's an awesome place! Imagine being wrapped in His loving wings,  totally surrounded and secure in warm loving peace. His wings will literally shelter you from any storm the world can throw your body into in this life.

  I slept safe and sound for several hours before I woke up again. I woke up refreshed and even mustarded enough courage and strength to hobble down the hall way with my IV pouches in tow. Seven or eight days latter I was able to come home, yeah hey.

  The best way I know how to cope through the worst of days is to let God my heavenly Father scoop me up in His loving arms. I stay there until I'm strong enough to battle the rough spots with Him.

 Jesus never minds carrying us when we can't walk on our own but we do need to ask for His help.

"Be gracious to me, O God, be gracious to me, For my soul takes refuge in You; And in the shadow of Your wings I will take refuge Until destruction passes by."  Psalm 57:1 (NASB)

Although the storms maybe raging you always can have eternal peace in Jesus. There's NEVER a time we have to walk alone once we have accepted Him as our Savior.

"For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:39 (NASB) 

  I hope you'll take time to read Psalm 57 and Romans chapter 8. Take these things to heart and thank God your Savior for them. In troubled times rest assured God will see you through them.

 

Sorry It's been so long since I last wrote to you.

  Goodness it has been such a long time since I sat down and scribbled my thoughts. Honestly I've missed writing. Have you missed my posts?

  If you know me or know my heart from my books or posts you know I write from my heart. Whether it's a good or bad time in my life I express my thoughts. Your choice to read or ignore my words is totally up to you.

  How have you been? What has been going on in your life? Are you happy or is this a sad time in your life? honestly, I would love to know so send me a message.

  Mark and I are still reading through the Bible. It still amazes me that after forty-one years of knowing Jesus as my personal Savior I learn something new everyday from that little black book. Passages I have read, heard and learned gain new depths every time I read or each chapter. God's word really does apply to every part of our life.

Like children, God keeps us captivated, interested and growing in His word. Baby Christians are happy with a little milk and some fellowship. But sooner or latter in all our lives the excitement and good times become troubled waters. As the world watches, we all either fall away or run to Jesus.

 The bumps and bruises often make us ask, "If you love me God, why did you let that happen?"  If we don't pull away from God, sooner or latter we will learn and grow from that bump in the road of life.  The meat and tatters of the Bible sure can help us through those bumpy times; can't they?

  The depth of our soul depends on the time we spend getting to know God through His word, prayer and so often the times He picks us up and holds us in the storms of life. I have truly learned to be content in whatever state I am in; not because of who I am but because of who God is. The Three in One (God the Father, Jesus the Son and the Holy Spirit) have never let me down. There is nothing to come that God will not see me through.

 As I grow in Christ, I'm ready for more of those luscious nuggets of wisdom from God's Word. They are new and fulfilling every single time. I bet you have a favorite meal; what is it? One of my favorite meals is fried chicken with taters and gravy. Could you pass the peas please and when we're done, how about a piece of apple pie and a cup of coffee? :) As much as I like that meal, there's no way I could eat it every day; unless I wanted to start clucking. God's word is full of a variety of wonderful meals in just a chapter or two at a time.

 Just as you get physically hungry, I hope you eat great spiritual meals daily. There's no need to starve yourself from Jesus.

 "For I know the plans I have for you declares the lord, plans for welfare and not calamity to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find Me when you search for me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord and I will restore your fortunes and will gather you from all the nations and from all the places where I have driven you declares the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from where I sent you into exile."  Jeremiah 29:11-14  (NASB)



 
 That whole chapter is full of good spiritual food. God Bless 

Sometimes I Ask God Why? (This post Is Not for Children)

Imagine gong in for a medical procedure and coming out to find you've been violated. I've heard it has happened but never dreamed it would happen to me. The good news is my scopes were great-no Crohn's and I can even avoid surgery for a while.

Waking up in the recovery room was odd. I went in the procedure room with a gown on but I laid naked, except for my socks, under a sheet. When I lifted the sheet, part of the bag that was cut out of the pouch for my stoma laid between my breast. I asked the lady who woke me up why that was there. She didn't know. She took it and threw it away.

The bag laid on top of my stoma, as human waste trickled down my left side. The top sheet was also covered in waste. "Why isn't my bag attached?"

"Derek, must have cut the opening out but forgot to attach it,"she said. Quickly she removed the tape and put it over the human waste on my skin. I started to pull it back off.

"I need a new bag and I need to clean this poop off my skin." She grabbed my hand and stopped me.

"No, you'll be fine. It will stick."

(How many of you reading this would want your human waste left on your skin and just covered with something? I didn't. I was afraid of smelling-not to mention the contamination factor around other people. There are times I hope these nasty people, who do such things, will one day have to live with an ostomy.)

I couldn't understand why my vagina hurt so much riding home. It felt like lots of sharp jabbing and burning pains, that were thrushing upwards. When we arrived at the restaurant I went to the bathroom to find a bloody slimy discharge in my underwear. I wiped it out and even smelt it. Fortunately, it wasn't semen, only my on bodily fluids with a little blood. I didn't say anything to my husband.

Of course I removed that bag, showered and put a new bag on when we arrived home. The next morning I woke up to find some one's art work on my stomach above my stoma.  A side ways "S" had been carved into my belly just above my stoma. No, it wasn't deep-just scratched in with a scalpel or the sharp end of scissors. Dried up blood added to the evidence.

My neck was bruised with two fingers and a thumb imprints right on my jugular vein. Had I started to wake up while someone was molesting me? Did they pinch the jugular to make me pass back out? Why was my vagina so sore? It felt as if someone had rammed their extra long fingers farther into my vagina than it had ever been reamed.

I went outside to help Mark mow. As I pushed the mower it felt as if my innards especially my vagina was screaming out in dire pain. I sat across from Mark at lunch time. "What's wrong-you're awfully quiet today."

I looked up.

"What are those black and blue marks on your neck?"

The tears began to flow. "I think I was Finger F%^ked after I was scoped yesterday!"

"What-Why didn't you do something to stop it!"

"That's pretty hard to do if you're asleep. I think the marks on my neck are there because I did try to stop it."

"Why didn't you stop it?"

"Mark, I couldn't. You must know I'd never want this to happen. Look at my neck-someone pinched my jugular to make me pass back out."

I never wanted anything like this to happen but it has. I don't know why God lets things like this happen. I do know it's Satan's favorite ploy to discourage me. I even considered suicide yesterday. There's no good in giving Satan that victory.

This isn't the first time I've been violated sexually, maybe it will not be my last. I am glad there is a hell for demons and evil men like this. Personally I hope they burn extra hot in hell, while I laugh in heaven.

Please pray for Mark and me. We are struggling. I'm thankful for these verses in Romans chapter eight. I hope they encourage you as well. God bless you.


¹⁸ I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. ¹⁹ For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. ²⁰ For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope ²¹ that^[h] the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.

²² We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. ²³ Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. ²⁴ For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? ²⁵ But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

²⁶ In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. ²⁷ And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

²⁸ And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who^[i] have been called according to his purpose. ²⁹ For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. ³⁰ And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

More Than Conquerors

³¹ What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? ³² He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? ³³ Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. ³⁴ Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. ³⁵ Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? ³⁶ As it is written:

“For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”^[j]

³⁷ No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[k] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

God's Awesome Family

  Thinking about making the trip down to Decatur today made me sick to my stomach yesterday.It would be a lie to tell you I'm not afraid of semi trucks since my wreck with one in May. While I was getting ready this morning, I heard the rain hitting pretty hard on the bathroom window. But I had resolved to leave my fate on I-85 with God.

 Yesterday I asked my mom and a few close friends that are always close in my heart to pray for me. I always appreciate the people who care enough to pray. I know God hears their earnest prayers! I experienced many traveling mercies today, thanks to God. It seemed as if I had a gentle bubble around my big ole car.

 Remember when you were a child, and you'd ask one of your favorite siblings,"Would you go ask Dad...?" Anxiously, you waited for their return to see if their persuasion pleased your father. Remember how happy you both were when they came back with a big smile and said, "He said, "Yes!"  :)

Being part of God's family is like that when we share our prayer request with each other. Together we feel the joy of our Heavenly Father's blessing. For those of you who have shared those special blessings with me I hope you know how much I love you. You are near and dear to my heart forever. You are part of my FOREVER FAMILY. I'm even more thankful for a wonderful Savior who goes before us in every situation. We are so blessed to be a part of His love and grace!

Thanksgiving and Prayer  2 Thessalonians 1:3-12 (NIV)

³ We ought always to thank God for you, brothers and sisters,^[b] and rightly so, because your faith is growing more and more, and the love all of you have for one another is increasing. ⁴ Therefore, among God’s churches we boast about your perseverance and faith in all the persecutions and trials you are enduring.

⁵ All this is evidence that God’s judgment is right, and as a result you will be counted worthy of the kingdom of God, for which you are suffering. ⁶ God is just: He will pay back trouble to those who trouble you ⁷ and give relief to you who are troubled, and to us as well. This will happen when the Lord Jesus is revealed from heaven in blazing fire with his powerful angels. ⁸ He will punish those who do not know God and do not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus. ⁹ They will be punished with everlasting destruction and shut out from the presence of the Lord and from the glory of his might ¹⁰ on the day he comes to be glorified in his holy people and to be marveled at among all those who have believed. This includes you, because you believed our testimony to you.

¹¹ With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may bring to fruition your every desire for goodness and your every deed prompted by faith. ¹² We pray this so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.^[c]   

                                                                                                                                                                 

Romans Chapter 8:14-26

¹⁴ For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. ¹⁵ The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship.^[f] And by him we cry, “Abba,^[g] Father.” ¹⁶ The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. ¹⁷ Now if we are children, then we are heirs —heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

Present Suffering and Future Glory

¹⁸ I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. ¹⁹ For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. ²⁰ For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope ²¹ that^[h] the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.
²² We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. ²³ Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. ²⁴ For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? ²⁵ But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
²⁶ In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. ²⁷ And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.
                                                                                                                                                                   
     God Bless you- I'm praying for you too. I love you.