Holidays create a mixed Bag of Emotions

(This is my Grandma Rose & Grandpa Mac)

  Would you agree that holidays can make you feel happy, sad, frustrated, hurt, loved and sometimes confused?  The older I grow,  my holiday emotions seem more mixed. Do you remember the holidays of your youth? Mine were fun and very lively. Soon I would be feasting on one of my grandmothers endless supply of delicious foods.  Of course, I'd be kissing lots of family,  playing baseball, kickball or house with my favorite cousins.

   After marriage holiday life grew complicated. First we tried to make sure both sides feel "loved"by dividing all the holiday time equally.  Time with Mark was shoved to the side or didn't exist which almost always ended in marital conflict.

 Before we knew it there are babies to carry to these gatherings. I can still remember Michael's red face grunting just in time for one of the grandparents to pick him up. "Good grief! Kathy, he needs his pants changed!"

 Or Heidi smiling in her Sunday best just before spitting up milk all over her pretty little dress. I still wonder if our parents thought I was a good momma or not? As hard as I tried there were messes and mistakes.

  Shortly, after we adjusted to all that, our kids were playing with their cousins. That was a lot of fun watching them together. Life was great again. But before we knew it, people on both sides began passing away. The absence of each of their lives lingers today. Honestly, I cry as much as I'm happy during the holidays.

 There's a hole in my heart that can only be filled by certain friends that I can't see or be with. The memories of loved ones that have passed makes me glad that most of them are home in heaven. A few never did accept Jesus as their savior. That makes me cry as I wonder did I live my life well enough  to show them the difference Jesus could make in their life?

  Now the kids come to our house but there aren't any grandchildren. Will we ever enjoy grandchildren? Still we treasure the time we share with our kids and their spouses. I thank God more for each of them more every year.

  There is so much to be thankful for. First, for our awesome God who lovingly provides for more than just our needs. Second, family and friends. Don't forget all the memories and the memories to come.

  I was going through my old treasured cookbook, it's treasured because there are recipes from my Grandma Mason, Grandma Rose and my mother in law. They're all in heaven now. But there are also recipes from my mom, girlfriends as well as Michael and Heidi. As I closed it after making cookies tonight, I realized that one book ties so many of the people I love together.

  Consider all the people in your life, the good, bad and the ugly. How is God using people in your life to help you grow in grace, love and even mold your character? Carefully he places a different combination of people in our lives for His purpose. We have an awesome God who loves us more than any of our family or friends.

Please sit down and read John chapter 15. It's full of a lot to ponder on while you busily prepare for the feast.

Happy Thanksgiving!

"This is my commandment, that you love one another just as I have loved you." John 15:12 (NASB)