Holidays create a mixed Bag of Emotions

(This is my Grandma Rose & Grandpa Mac)

  Would you agree that holidays can make you feel happy, sad, frustrated, hurt, loved and sometimes confused?  The older I grow,  my holiday emotions seem more mixed. Do you remember the holidays of your youth? Mine were fun and very lively. Soon I would be feasting on one of my grandmothers endless supply of delicious foods.  Of course, I'd be kissing lots of family,  playing baseball, kickball or house with my favorite cousins.

   After marriage holiday life grew complicated. First we tried to make sure both sides feel "loved"by dividing all the holiday time equally.  Time with Mark was shoved to the side or didn't exist which almost always ended in marital conflict.

 Before we knew it there are babies to carry to these gatherings. I can still remember Michael's red face grunting just in time for one of the grandparents to pick him up. "Good grief! Kathy, he needs his pants changed!"

 Or Heidi smiling in her Sunday best just before spitting up milk all over her pretty little dress. I still wonder if our parents thought I was a good momma or not? As hard as I tried there were messes and mistakes.

  Shortly, after we adjusted to all that, our kids were playing with their cousins. That was a lot of fun watching them together. Life was great again. But before we knew it, people on both sides began passing away. The absence of each of their lives lingers today. Honestly, I cry as much as I'm happy during the holidays.

 There's a hole in my heart that can only be filled by certain friends that I can't see or be with. The memories of loved ones that have passed makes me glad that most of them are home in heaven. A few never did accept Jesus as their savior. That makes me cry as I wonder did I live my life well enough  to show them the difference Jesus could make in their life?

  Now the kids come to our house but there aren't any grandchildren. Will we ever enjoy grandchildren? Still we treasure the time we share with our kids and their spouses. I thank God more for each of them more every year.

  There is so much to be thankful for. First, for our awesome God who lovingly provides for more than just our needs. Second, family and friends. Don't forget all the memories and the memories to come.

  I was going through my old treasured cookbook, it's treasured because there are recipes from my Grandma Mason, Grandma Rose and my mother in law. They're all in heaven now. But there are also recipes from my mom, girlfriends as well as Michael and Heidi. As I closed it after making cookies tonight, I realized that one book ties so many of the people I love together.

  Consider all the people in your life, the good, bad and the ugly. How is God using people in your life to help you grow in grace, love and even mold your character? Carefully he places a different combination of people in our lives for His purpose. We have an awesome God who loves us more than any of our family or friends.

Please sit down and read John chapter 15. It's full of a lot to ponder on while you busily prepare for the feast.

Happy Thanksgiving!

"This is my commandment, that you love one another just as I have loved you." John 15:12 (NASB)

What is your Ego like?

Mr. Webster defines "ego" as the conscious part of the personality component that is conscious, most immediately controls behavior and is most in touch with external reality. Maybe an easier way to describe it is the part of your mind that decides how you will act and react to the events, people and God in your life.

Basically there are at least two types of  EGO, they are the ones that:


Edge                                                    Exalt

God                        Or They                God
                                    
Out                                                      Over Everything!

Your freewill, a gift from God, gives you the choice to do either. But guess which way will make you truly happier...you guessed it. You and I were created in God's image to glorify Him.

"Then God said, "Let Us make man in Our image, according to our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the catle and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth."    Genesis1:26 (NASB)

(There are two things I would like to point out in this passage, first, when God the Heavenly Father was talking He was speaking to Jesus the Son of God and the Holy Spirit. These Three are known as the "Holy Trinity." Second mankind was made in God's image. We are not all our own little gods.


"Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."                                   Corinthians 10:31 (NASB)

"If you will return, O Israel, declares the Lord, "Then you should return to Me. And if you will put away your detested things from my presence, And will not waver, And you will swear, ' As the Lord lives,' In truth and justice and in righteousness; Then the nations will bless themselves in Him, And in Him they will glory."                                             Jeremiah 4:1 and 2 (NASB)


Another great passage that descibes the heart of a Godly person is Psalm 145. As we do the things God seeks in us He abundantly blesses our life not always with health or wealth but in the eternal blessings of the soul which far out weigh the temporary life we live today.

"And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."     Micah 6:8

 Should you choose to edge God out of your life, God will deny you a place in heaven with Him.

"Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them, may be compared to a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rains fell and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock.

Everyone who hears these words of Mine and does not act on them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. The rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed that house; and it fell- and great was its fall."
                                                               Matthew 7:24-27 (NASB)

Jesus said it, I believe it and hope you do too.

Coping with Extreme illness

  I remember the day the doctors told us my Grandma Mason had liver cancer. I thought my world would crumble.  She had been the best grandma I could have ever had. Who would listen to my ideas, console my hurts and laugh with me when she was gone?

  Three weeks latter our family was saying good bye to her and burying her body. That was over 31 years ago now but there are days I still miss her. Grandma Mason was a rock in my life.

  In August of 2003 a doctor told me that I would be dead within 30 days. A colonoscopy revealed Crohn's Disease in its final stage. I was bleeding to death. My daughter Heidi couldn't accept this diagnosis. She called several gastrointestinal doctors in Atlanta who said they probably couldn't help me. Finally, Dr. Binderow told her that he would see me. He read the reports and examed me. He didn't give much hope, he said there was less than a 50% chance I would live through a surgery to help stop the bleeding.

  I agreed to let them try to help me. I lived through twenty-seven more surgeries by 2007. The last surgery was so horrible. After two days on a ventilator, I woke up with tubes running out of every part of my body. Ten tubes were draining blood and fluids.  There were IVs in my neck putting fluids and medications back into my body. Who can forget the nasty N.G. tube sucking blood and bile out of my stomach?

  I looked down at the incision which was from my breast bone down to the pelvic bone. Part of the incision was stapled shut and part of it was left partially open so it could drain. I looked in the mirror, my hair was mated and filthy. If it killed me I was going to wash my hair. (By golly, it almost did kill me before a nurse came in and helped me.)

  She was kind enough to help brush the tangles out. Having clean hair helped my attitude a lot. Prior to this I had cried and asked God why he had let me live through all this. That was a really bad day. What do you do to get through horrible days?

  After the shampoo and a sponge bath I was hurting worse than I've ever hurt. The pain from having mesh filleted off my stomach muscles, hernia repairs and having my one and only bowel restructured was so bad I was sure I'd die. I remember calling out to God,  "Please just hold me and take away the pain."

  Not long after that, I slipped into a really deep sleep. Have you ever cried out begging God the Father to hold you? It's an awesome place! Imagine being wrapped in His loving wings,  totally surrounded and secure in warm loving peace. His wings will literally shelter you from any storm the world can throw your body into in this life.

  I slept safe and sound for several hours before I woke up again. I woke up refreshed and even mustarded enough courage and strength to hobble down the hall way with my IV pouches in tow. Seven or eight days latter I was able to come home, yeah hey.

  The best way I know how to cope through the worst of days is to let God my heavenly Father scoop me up in His loving arms. I stay there until I'm strong enough to battle the rough spots with Him.

 Jesus never minds carrying us when we can't walk on our own but we do need to ask for His help.

"Be gracious to me, O God, be gracious to me, For my soul takes refuge in You; And in the shadow of Your wings I will take refuge Until destruction passes by."  Psalm 57:1 (NASB)

Although the storms maybe raging you always can have eternal peace in Jesus. There's NEVER a time we have to walk alone once we have accepted Him as our Savior.

"For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:39 (NASB) 

  I hope you'll take time to read Psalm 57 and Romans chapter 8. Take these things to heart and thank God your Savior for them. In troubled times rest assured God will see you through them.

 

Sorry It's been so long since I last wrote to you.

  Goodness it has been such a long time since I sat down and scribbled my thoughts. Honestly I've missed writing. Have you missed my posts?

  If you know me or know my heart from my books or posts you know I write from my heart. Whether it's a good or bad time in my life I express my thoughts. Your choice to read or ignore my words is totally up to you.

  How have you been? What has been going on in your life? Are you happy or is this a sad time in your life? honestly, I would love to know so send me a message.

  Mark and I are still reading through the Bible. It still amazes me that after forty-one years of knowing Jesus as my personal Savior I learn something new everyday from that little black book. Passages I have read, heard and learned gain new depths every time I read or each chapter. God's word really does apply to every part of our life.

Like children, God keeps us captivated, interested and growing in His word. Baby Christians are happy with a little milk and some fellowship. But sooner or latter in all our lives the excitement and good times become troubled waters. As the world watches, we all either fall away or run to Jesus.

 The bumps and bruises often make us ask, "If you love me God, why did you let that happen?"  If we don't pull away from God, sooner or latter we will learn and grow from that bump in the road of life.  The meat and tatters of the Bible sure can help us through those bumpy times; can't they?

  The depth of our soul depends on the time we spend getting to know God through His word, prayer and so often the times He picks us up and holds us in the storms of life. I have truly learned to be content in whatever state I am in; not because of who I am but because of who God is. The Three in One (God the Father, Jesus the Son and the Holy Spirit) have never let me down. There is nothing to come that God will not see me through.

 As I grow in Christ, I'm ready for more of those luscious nuggets of wisdom from God's Word. They are new and fulfilling every single time. I bet you have a favorite meal; what is it? One of my favorite meals is fried chicken with taters and gravy. Could you pass the peas please and when we're done, how about a piece of apple pie and a cup of coffee? :) As much as I like that meal, there's no way I could eat it every day; unless I wanted to start clucking. God's word is full of a variety of wonderful meals in just a chapter or two at a time.

 Just as you get physically hungry, I hope you eat great spiritual meals daily. There's no need to starve yourself from Jesus.

 "For I know the plans I have for you declares the lord, plans for welfare and not calamity to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find Me when you search for me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord and I will restore your fortunes and will gather you from all the nations and from all the places where I have driven you declares the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from where I sent you into exile."  Jeremiah 29:11-14  (NASB)



 
 That whole chapter is full of good spiritual food. God Bless